Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
