ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
