Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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