Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
