don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
