He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
