Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
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