I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
