My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
