Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Randomize
