I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
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I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize