This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Randomize
