my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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