her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
