Have you finally orgasmed yet?
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Randomize