And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
