You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Randomize
