I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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