I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
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