Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
