I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
