I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
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