she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
