Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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