i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
