My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
Randomize
