that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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