Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
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