I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
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