the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
