Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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