i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
