My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
