Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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