I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Randomize
