Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
