Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
