Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
