no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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