Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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