She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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