At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
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