I smell stomach acid.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
