You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
