I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
