I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
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