Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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