I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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