That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
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