If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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