In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I could fuck to npr.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
