I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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