You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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