So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
