i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
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