I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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