Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
