if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
i used baking grease as lip gloss
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
