My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
one might say we're banned from that church
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Randomize
