when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
